Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Au Speaks Out: My Operashun - A Tail Of Horror With Ham




my tail of horror started on Saturday when de survunt diskovured dat I had a deep wound in my leg.

I told her it was nothing but she took me to the vet anyway!  I told her all de way at the top of my voice dat I didn't want to go but did she listen?  NO!

before i new it de vet gave me an injekshun!!! i fell asleep while de survunt held me.

while i was asleep the vet kleened and stitched up de wound.  i think it was very gory bekos wen i woke up de survunt still looked pretty sick.

i want to kleen de wound by likking it a lot but dey won't let me.  dey've put on dis kollar so i can't touch de wound.  it is furry inkonvenient but i'm not complaining bekos of dis:

1. both de survunts are worried i am too sad to eat so de feemale bought me 200g of imported ham!!!  i am training her to hand feed me efurry hour.

2. de male gets up at 2AM and 3AM and den again at 4AM to pet me - without me having to yell at him.

3. de survunts think dey can't leave me alone so dey have kancelled their nights owt and are staying wif me 24/7.  finally i haf de survice i deserve!

42 comments:

Christopher said...

Get you gory wound healed up fast but enjoy the hams for a long time =)

Cheysuli and gemini said...

You got ham?! I never got ham even when I wasn't eating! This is so unfair!!!!

I hope your wound heals quickly...

Jan's Funny Farm said...

oh, that sounds like a bad wound. But you are getting such service at the moment, we agree with your strategy. Just keep quiet and enjoy the service. It won't last nearly as long as you'll want it to. But, meanwhile ....

Katnip Lounge said...

Dude, this is your Golden Opurrtunity! Get your servunts used to attending to you and waiting on you every second.
Milk it, buddy, for all it's worth.

We hope you get well soon, but of course you don't have to let on that you're well. Just well enough to get rid of the lampshade.

How did you hurt yourself, anyway?

Kea said...

We're sending purrs that you get well quickly...but we hope the service doesn't stop after that!

Eric and Flynn said...

Wow That is good service! We hope you heal well and quickly, but don't let your Beans know too soon. Milk it for all it's worth.

Brian said...

I am so sorry you are having to go through that Au and my sisters and I all send you mega-purrs for quick healing...and lots of ham!

Admiral Hestorb said...

Oh my goodness! You have a great opportunity here Au. train up your servants to keep this up all day and all night fur effur! It's what you deserve. After all, you cared for them during all their times of trial! Right? Right?

Au, how did you hurt yourself? Are you sad right now? Curl up on mommy and Daddy. They'll make it right.

Are you EATING the wonderful ham? Eat all you can get for the Ham Train will end when the rails run out and that is when you are feeling fine again. I hope it's soon and me and mommy will be purring extra much for you.

Julie said...

Hoping you heal super quick!

pointe.csl said...

ROTFL, you've got your velvety paws wrapped around your survunts! And talk about being pampered 24/7! :D

BeadedTail said...

We hope you get well very soon and are treated like a king while you're healing up!

Cat-in-Sydney said...

Au,
Ouch! It must have hurt....but enjoy all the attention while it lasts, OK? purrrr.....meow!

Cory said...

Whoa, you are getting super service! Imported ham!? It almost makes wearing the cone head thingie worthwhile!

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

WOW!

Woo are surely retraining them furry well!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

~Covert_Operations'78~ said...

You haf trayned your survunts furry well, O Majestic Handsum Brilyunt Au! My furry gang and I wish you a speedy recuvry!

Boo-Bah said...

We hope your horrendous wound heals fast. Don't eat too much hame or your tummy will be sick. What wonderful service your getting. Your humans must love you a lot.

d'Artagnan Rumblepurr said...

Oh no!! I hope you're feeling way better my friend, and that ham is sitting well with you.

Cezar and Léia said...

Dear Au, sweet friend, so sorry for the news.
Please be patient, everything will be okay soon.I'm sending you purrs and lots of love!
Luna - WE LOVE LUNA

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

Au we are very sorry yoo got a huted paw! We are sending healing purrs and hope yoo feel much better soon. Enjoy the ham!!!

thefluffies said...

Owh Au, hope u have a speed recovery. Purrrrsss for u.

U so lucky to have gud servants there. Our humans sometimes sleep at 10 and wake up at 8 and most of the time they dont bother about us. Pffttttt!!!

The Purrrrs,
Memon
Jebat Cullen
Bellack Kupusamy

Cat said...

Sweet Au we are very sad to hear your news!! The cone is awful isn't it!!! We hope you will be better soon :-)

Caren Gittleman said...

please feel better soon!

ABBY said...

Au we will all purr for your continued healing.....and we think the golden glove service you are getting is great.

purrin
xoxox

Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Ouch...well, we sure hope it heals up good and fast but, really, even if it does yoo hafta purrtend dat yoo are still kinda hurty so da slaves will continue taking care of yoo in da style to which yoo would like to become akustomed.

Hannah and Lucy said...

We hope you leg heals up quickly. If it stops being sore still limp and look sorry for yourself and you will perhaps get another lot of delicious ham to console you.

Penelope said...

Au, yous will gets better fast! Mes had a deep cut and stitches. Theys gets better. Remembers to keep your survunts in line. Mes training mine to only gives me People Tuna and NOT cat tuna. Post more hints okay
Penelope

Kat's Kats said...

Star says, "Dude! I got wounded and had to go to the vet over the summer. (you can the hideous pictures she put up!) I didn't get a collar like yours but I think I would have worn one for ham. I mean... ham!! Much better than chicken. OTOP not quite as good as steak. mmmmmmmmmmm Anyway, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Kitty Horde & I & our Feeders will all send you purrs & prayers until you are all healed up (and that your Feeders keep getting you ham... mmmmmmmm hammmmmmm)."

Lucy the Cat said...

Au! Dude! I almost want a wound so I could get imported ham fed to me around the clock. You're a genius! I am sorry that you're hurt and do hope you heal very, very quickly!

Barbara said...

Poor Au! Hope you heal quickly but I'm glad to hear the service has improved because of it :O)

AFSS said...

Glad you are finally getting the service you deserve Au and plenty of ham.

We are purring your wound heals fast, but that the good service continues.

Meowers from Missouri said...

our mom sez that sometimes you hafta suffer a little to be beautyful, so we guesses maybe you hafta do the same for good health.

but why do they hafta keep learning an' learning how to serve?? why isn't servitude imprinted in their genes, like kingship (an' queenship) is in ours?? we sometimes wonder if we chose the right species to serve us!

hope that your recovery (hampered as it is by that collar [is it a coffee-filter??]) is swift an' uneventful, an' that the servants are forming new an' lasting habits!

Cats~Goats~Quotes said...

We hope you get well soon, but do not let the survunts know you are better. Keep the ham coming! We have heard it is very tasty.
Happy Wednesday, and keep healing!
~ Bob and Patrick

meowmeowmans said...

That sounds like a pretty bad wound, Au! We are glad you got it taken care of and stitched up, and are sending lots of prayers and purrs for you to get well soon.

In the meantime, enjoy all that HAM! That is pawsome! :)

meowmeowmans said...

That sounds like a pretty bad wound, Au! We are glad you got it taken care of and stitched up, and are sending lots of prayers and purrs for you to get well soon.

In the meantime, enjoy all that HAM! That is pawsome! :)

Splendid Little Stars said...

Yay for proper survice! imported ham! yes!
Get well! Heal fast!

Forty Paws said...

Wow! You are getting tons of special service! This is totally great news!!!

Luf, Us

Admiral Hestorb said...

Au darling..are you doing any better?

Amy and The House of Cats said...

Au we are so sorry you hurt your leg and had to have surgery and a cone but wow it sounds like you are getting lots of love and attention. And boy ham - you are so lucky! We are sending you lots of purrs and prayers to get better very quickly (but of course still milk it so you get all that ham and attention!)

Jacqueline said...

Thanks for visiting; we are following you guys now and look forward to getting to know you!...Handsome Au, we are sorry to hear you are hurt, but we are purring for you to feel better soon...Enjoy the ham, sweetie...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

Dennis the Vizsla said...

All's well that ends with ham.

GRAÇA said...

Then you're stoned .. best part of your leg?
Improvement comes around Christmas ...
Ronrons Girlfriend
Kika

Cat with a Garden said...

How nasty! Stay away from that wound and let it heal nicely. That 24/7 service is really something to enjoy. Maybe one of us just get sick... ah, nah! ; )
We are sorry we haven't been around. One thing is that your blog doesen't update in our blogroll and it's always at the very bottom of the list. The other, main, part is that mom has a bit of a troubled life since Spring. We're purring on her and hope she'll be better and sort things out eventually. Thank you for visiting us on our 2+2 blogoversary!
Have a furry nice weekend,
Siena & Chilli