Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Au Speaks Out: Getting De Most Owt Of Your Survunt

me being hand fed by de survunt
in de last few days i haf been feuding wif de survunt.  just bekos she is bigger, she thinks she kan order me around.  HAH!

if it's one thing i know, it's how to get de most owt of my survunt.  let me tell you how i beat her to her nees.

it started on saturday when she bought me sum ham.  frensh imported ham. it was so nice dat i decidud i wanted ham, and only ham.

after two ham feasts de survunt said, Au-Meow, you need to eat sum kat food and den you kan have ham.

i refused.

de survunt said, Au, you need propur food too.  here, haf sum rost chikkun.

i said no.

me eating fresh ham on my favrut chair
den de survunt said, Au, you will get no food for 2 hours!!!!! den you will eat your kat food

i begged and meowed and sulked and when she offered me kat food i said no.


de survunt offered to handfeed me so i took a little - and den ate a lot of ham.

after 3 days of dis she finally caved.  dis morning she gave me ham for breakfast insted of kat food.  she even served me while i was relaksing on my favrut chair.

i won! i am de greatest!  i am ruler of de univurse!!!

i didn't gloat though.  i just ate all of my ham.  every single bit.  i watched her throw away de wrapper so i know dere is none left.

hey, wait a minute... oh my cod!  dere's no ham left!!!  dis is a disastur!  kwik!  kall de ham shop!  it's an emurgunsee!

38 comments:

Eric and Flynn said...

You certainly have your servant wrapped around your paw.

Katnip Lounge said...

Au, you are Da ManCat! Your iron will has us in awe, and dribbling for HAM. Stoopid humans here eat like rabbits.

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I still khan't believe humans have KHATS!

Just sayin'

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Old Kitty said...

Mr Au!!!! You RULE!!! More ham better be there asap!! LOL! Take care
x

Brian said...

Good for you Au, that is exactly as it should be!!!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Oh man--but you got some! That is excellent! And on your favorite chair too. What a lucky lucky cat!

m.q said...

Master Au, you're full of skill!!!
we admire you...

BoBo Salem and catlings
Meow Meow Family

Carol said...

uh-oh, no more ham :(

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Au, it looks like you have to start the protest all over tomorrow. Better still, maybe you can bribe her, eat a little cat food,and then she will get the ham - maybe???

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

Cindy F. Adkins said...

Oh no! We hope your servent get more ham soon!! We know how you feel - especially Sam, he loves ham and fresh turkey. The cat food is not so good as fresh ham!!
Buster, Rudy and Sam (and Cindy, too)

Katie Isabella said...

Oh AU! I am working on MY servunt too. I will take a leaf from your journal and hurry my work with my servunt along.

The Island Cats said...

We need to take lessons from you, Au.

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

I have my human convinced that cat treats are a proper meal for me!

sully86 said...

ahahhahahaha this is gold!! buffet of ham time

Cat Chat With Caren And Cody said...

"call the ham shop" omc I love it!

I also loved when you said you watched her throw out the wrapper so you knew there was none left.

You are just too smart for your own good!
xoxoxo

The Furries of Whisppy said...

What? No more ham? Move it, Survunt! What are you waiting for?

Declan said...

Don't panic Au. I am on the phone to the Emergency Ham Dept. right now! Deccy x

Cezar and Léia said...

I need to confess that I jealous!that survunt looks delicious! :)
Luna - wE LOVE LUNA

Ginger Jasper said...

You have your mum just where you want her for sure. Glad you enjoyed the ham... Hugs GJ xx

Hannah and Lucy said...

What NO HAM!!! That is a punishable offence without doubt.
Get those smacky paws ready.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

catsynth said...

Good tips! Luna definitely has me well trained, though she doesn't particularly like hand feeding.

ABBY said...

I must study your techniques so I can teach my survant the same things.
purrs
>^,,^<
♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

Ranger said...

My Maddie usually prefers to eat out of my hand, whatever the food is. I only feed her her kibble and treats this way. Thank goodness she's not in favor of wet food, 'cause that'd be a 'no-go' for.

Photo Cache said...

au, that is indeed an emergency. you do know how to win over the human.

kisses,
emma and buster

Tamago said...

Ha ha ha...you are so determined! One of my boys is like that...he loves chicken so much that he often refuses to eat anything else.
I hope your survunt called the ham shop to get more!!

Marg said...

Way to go Au, you are doing such a good job of training that hooooman to feed you the correct food.That ham sure looks good. You are one smart kitty. Take care.

Dianne said...

I am not going to let Siren and Isadora read this
I have enough trouble as it is
It's not easy being a human

You are adorable

Remington said...

Is there a manuel that I could borrow to train my servants....

Boo-Bah AKA Iris said...

Oh my gosh! You are so funny!! We are glad you got your ham though. Maybe you should write a book on how to train our human servants. Yes, we think so. It would be a great service to all of catkind. :o)

Cat-from-Sydney said...

O Mighty Au,
You deserve an award for properly training your survunt.....we all will try very hard to emulate you. You should be the Feline Idol O Mighty Au..... purrr...meow!

meowmeowmans said...

Wow, you have your humans SO well trained, Au. Impressive!

Mary said...

Someone has your number:-). Have a great day. Blessings...Mary

Barbara said...

This is excellent work Au, my cats salute you!

Oskar said...

Now that's the way to train a human!

My name is Oskar & I have a blog that I'd love for you to check out, www.PetBlogsUnited.com. It's a great place for pet bloggers to find each other and be featured. If you're interested you can e-mail me at PBU at comcast dot net.

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Meowers from Missouri said...

holy cod! could you come ofur to our house an' gif a seminar on howta train yer servunts?? we need somma that!!

Katie and Glogirly said...

Now all I can think about is ham.
I gotta do some work on Glogirly. She needs Ham 101.
And FAST!
; ) Katie

Clooney said...

Dat "ham" will get you every time! It's good stuff, I tell ya...(I must say I enjoy your reports greatly Au and you have dat Survunt very well trained, way to go!)

Jan's Funny Farm said...

Check the freezer. then panic.

Sounds like you have your servant well trained.