Monday, January 20, 2014

Target: I Am A Slimmer Kitty

So Mummy Cat is busy earning cat biscuits, studying for her Masters and writing books so she says, "Something has to go!"

I thought it might be Guido but she meant the blog!  That's not right because efurryone needs to hear all about me, right?  Right!

So I will be taking over the blog. And as Guido whapped me silly, begged to share, he will post sometimes every second week.

So anyway, my first post is about weight management.  You may have noticed that I was a tad heavy in the rear last year?  Just a tiny little bit?  Well, Mummy Cat came up with this idea for fixed evening dinners.  Instead of me coming in and getting dinner from her, and then a second dinner from T-man, and then eating a third dinner when Guido comes in, we now both eat one dinner at 8PM.

I am a slimmer kitty. Just check my butt.

That's the official line: cats, come closer and listen. Not all is lost!  When your Mummy Cat does something daft like this, you have the power of the paw and the meow to ask for sekunds.  Just eat efurrything in one go, and then look at the bowl and turn it over.  Look totally pathetic. Your Mummy Cat will instantly ask if you are totally starving.  A meow! and a furry purry headbutt and she's yours.  And so are sekunds.



Promise.

When I figure out how to get thirds, I'll post again.

The Bonus by AJ Adams "A beautifully twisted love story" rated 4.5 at Amazon and Smashwords.  Adults only.

31 comments:

Katnip Lounge said...

::anxiously awaiting the "Thirds" installment::

We are going to have to try out your Look of Pathos on Mommy but we're not optimistic. That woman has a heart of STONE.

Photo Cache said...

Target we will keep on waiting for your posts here. WE know your mum is very busy with stuff right now.

We will miss you terribly if you don't post.

Emma and Buster

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

I dunno - that might not work on my human. She is really cold-hearted when it comes to food! Like, if Binga steals my lunch, she does not get dinner because "she already ate." I told you she is cold-hearted! But then, Binga is also the perfect weight for her size, so maybe she knows what she is doing.

Bookface said...

It's those horizontal stripes you're wearing, Target -- they would make Kate Moss look fat. Trot down to the local cat salon and ask about a solid colour in a dark shade.

The Chair Speaks said...

We are sure Mommy Cat will give in if you howl for more, loud and long! Purrs!

The Chair Speaks said...

We are sure Mommy Cat will give in if you howl for more, loud and long! Purrs!

Old Kitty said...

Lovely Target!! Well done you!! Awwwww! Well we think you deserve extra treats! Yay! Big hello to sweet Guido too! Take care
x

Dexter said...

Well, I suppose you will be healthier if you are lean and mean, but it sounds a bit painful.

Kisses,
Dexter

The Whiskeratti said...

You'll be back to three dinners in no time. We have faith in your abilities.

Gattina said...

Poor you ! you can't even cheat on your forced diet ! My neighbor put her cat on diet with the result that she emptied all bowls in my kitchen and got fat and fatter ! Until I thought it was about time to tell her, because all bowls were always emptied by her cat and our cats meowed for food, lol !

Brian said...

Well you do look mighty fine and we were excited to see you posting today!

Tamago said...

Target, we are so glad you took over the blog! This blog never should go away, no!
Your butt looks totally sexy!

speedyrabbit said...

WHat is it about mummy's and them putting us on diets...my mummy has put me on one too,xx Speedy

Clooney said...

Lookin' good there Target! Good luck to Mummy Cat with all her endeavors.

Katie Isabella said...

OH sweetie, you look fabulous!!!

Flynn said...

You are looking good Target. I have trained my mum so I get firsts and seconds whenever I want them. Mum gives me my little tin of meat and I tell her I am not eating that poison. After an hour she gives in and opens another tin of a different flavour. I tell her I am not eating that either so she says eat it or leave it then. Bingo! I get two tins of meat instead of one.

The Island Cats said...

Target, we have tried that pathetic look...and it works! The mom always gives us a little more foods. :)

Ginger said...

Awe.....mine had turned their dishes over this morning because I slept lat.

William said...

Target, I never thought you needed to watch your weight, just like I don't think I do. What I do think is that our moms need glasses!

The Cat From Hell said...

Target! Wes will bes happy to reads yous whenever yous does post! And weight, mes thinks yous is a beauteous stud muffin just the way yous is!
Kisses
Nellie

Katie and Glogirly said...

Congrats on the new svelte figure!
...and thx for the food tips. Those will come in VERY handy.
; ) Katie

~CovertOperations78~ said...

Your furry tocks look very good as they are, Target! You don't have to lose any weight! I hope you get seconds and thirds! I have a plan! Make sure T-Man doesn't know that Mummy Cat has already fed you, and vice versa. This way, you might even get thirds and fourths!

magscorner said...

You look mighty fine to us lady cats. That is a good move eating all the food and turning the bowl over. We gotta figure out how to do that so we can get seconds. Hugs and nose kisses

PS...Mumsy said to tell you she was hidden and about 8 feet away using zoom when she took the bird pictures.

Oui Oui said...

Target, we thought you were purrfectly fine, just the way you are. So tell your mummy cat to bring on the thirds! Honestly, kitties and diets are like water and oil, they just don't go!

mythreemoggies said...

You look fantastic :-)

mythreemoggies said...

You look fantastic :-)

Cathy Keisha said...

You are a wise cat. You are also a slim cat.

Karen Jo said...

Congratulations on becoming a slimmer cat, Target. You have a good plan for getting more food. Thank you for purring for Bambino. He is eating more and seems to feel a little better. We are all jealous of the great food he is getting.

Spyro and the Gang

meowmeowmans said...

Target, we think you look marvelous. Please let us know how your research about getting THIRDS goes, okay? :)

Katie Isabella said...

Target, I eat and eat. Then 7 days or so later, I will hork up my brekkie!

fatimatuzzahra said...

Love to hear from u soon on d 3rd treat tricks ;)

Pengedar Shaklee Seluruh Malaysia